Well...

Let's just say Ali is hoping for a baby brother... ;o)

Day 36, You're killing me!

I'm trying not to think about the fact that it's day 36 and AF hasn't shown up yet. I was feeling a bit crampy today and thought for sure she was here, but nothing so far. My cycles are normally about 32-35 days long now, so this isn't overly unusual, but it's killing me to wait. I would just like to know if I'm pregnant or not. (And I'm really hoping I am.)

I was at a play group today with 3 other moms. All of them had two kids. All of their first borns are younger than Ali. It was kind of hard for me to realize that. :(

We've been ttc for 9 months now and it's starting to take it's toll. I tell myself that I'd be okay with never having another baby because I love Ali so much, but other days I just want that baby so much! And it certainly doesn't help when Ali asks for a sibling ALL THE TIME!

So, the waiting continues here... I'll keep ya posted.

Oh Man!

Ali and I are supposed to be going to a friend's cottage today with a bunch of friends. It was going to be a day long trip and I was supposed to be carting 2 other moms and their kids in my van. Well, guess who is up all night with a fever? Just my luck. Now, I've got to cancel at the last second.

I know that it's beyond my control, but I'm going to look like such a bad friend for cancelling. I don't want to be known as the girl who never follows through. :( I mean, I definitely will do what's in Ali's best interests, but I'm so concious of what other people think of me.

I wish I wasn't so concerned about having everyone like me.

Powerless

Today is such a strange day for me.

I watched Farenheit 9/11 last night and feel so distraught over my lack of ability to do ANYTHING that would make things better for the people of Iraq and the soldiers that shouldn't be there. I've been searching online all afternoon for links to organizations that are trying to help, but I can't really find anything. It's not even listed on Oxfam or Unicef. The couple of sites that did offer aid haven't been updated in months!

I feel so sad for the people who are suffering because of this madness. I wish I knew how to help make it end. :( I found Rosie O'Donnell's blog today too and am sad to see that she seems to be feeling the same way. I was kind of hoping that she'd have grand plans that I could somehow jump on board with. How is it that if so many people disagree with this war and the serious effect it's having on humanity, we can't do anything about it? Are we really that afraid of Bush?

***

I'm also feeling a bit sad because my husband and I have been trying to conceive a second baby for 9 months now. If we had succeeded back when we first began to try, we'd be very close to the birth of our second child. Ali asks me at least once a week when she'll get to have a baby brother. How do you explain to a two year old that you're working on it, but it's gonna be a while? :(

I guess to add insult to injury, I also learned that our exciting weekend adventure to see Dora the Explorer has been cancelled. Something to do with the vendor not living up to their side of the deal? At least we had also plannd to go camping, so I know she'll have fun nonetheless.

My very first blog

Well, in all honesty, I'm not sure what to expect with this thing. I've never really thought of me as the blogging type, but sometimes I just want to vent with anonimity and this seems like the perfect way to do that.

So, I guess we'll see how good I am at keeping this up, eh?